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Dearly Beloved,

Marriage Sucks

This last weekend, I was in Tofino enjoying the nice weather, surfing, and hanging out on the beach. I wish I had gotten to do that more; typically, weekends like that are saved for special occasions, and this was one of them. I was in Tofino at a bachelor party for my soon-to-be brother-in-law, who will marry my sister in just over a month.

It was late Saturday night, around a bonfire on the beach, when a man learned the reason for our trip and hurled that phrase that has probably kept you reading this: “marriage sucks.” This upset me. I have never enjoyed all the jokes that get made toward engaged couples or newlyweds that come from a place of cynicism. The man then continued to get closer in order to give some advice to the soon-to-be groom. The advice that was given was actually very good—he encouraged communication and the importance of talking to each other when things are hard.

He then followed up this encouragement by telling us he wished he and his wife could communicate better with each other—that this was a weakness of theirs and is one of the reasons their marriage has been, and is, challenging. His advice was so great that I truly wish he would take it himself and apply it. It is never too late to start working hard on your marriage.

I truly believe that young people, newlyweds, and engaged couples need to hear testimonies of older married couples who love each other and experience life with a partner who is their best friend, experiencing the beauty of marriage that was a gift from God.

So hopefully, at this point, you understand that I do not think marriage sucks. I love marriage and think it is just the greatest, and I love my wife very much. She truly is my best friend. I was very quick to tell the soon-to-be groom this to encourage him.

We need to prioritize and put work into our marriage to keep it strong and healthy, which is why I want to highlight our Marriage Refresh Weekend that is coming up soon (May 22 & 23). This is a weekend hosted by Ryan and Jenn Walter for you and your spouse to experience time to pause, connect, build, and grow in your relationship.

Sometimes we just do not know what to expect when it comes to a weekend like this, so here are some things that you can expect:

  • Honest, relatable teaching from Ryan and Jenn

  • Simple, practical, and biblical strategies to strengthen your relationship

  • Time to connect privately with your spouse

  • A supportive environment with other couples on the same journey

At the end of that night on the beach, I kept thinking about that man’s words—“marriage sucks”—and I realized something.

Marriage doesn’t suck.
But marriage without intention, without effort, without grace… can feel like it does.

Because marriage was never meant to run on autopilot.

From the very beginning in Genesis, we see that marriage is a gift from God—designed for partnership, connection, and deep, meaningful companionship. But like any gift, it’s something we are called to steward, not just receive.

So I encourage you to think about joining us for our marriage refresh weekend.


Pastor Clay