Dearly Beloved

Hello Church family!

I grew up in a Christian home. My parents were new believers and were saved into a very Mennonite church. I always found I didn’t “belong” in that denomination of believers because my parents loved secular music (David Bowie, to be specific) and they loved dancing. There was a point in my childhood where I asked, "When do you graduate from church?" My parents informed me that there’s no graduation, but a desire to keep going and exploring faith for yourself. So when I was in grade 10, I started looking for a church I could attend and explore faith on my own.

After I graduated high school, I moved to the UK for a brief time and purposely didn’t find a church, as I had done the "church thing" my whole life. I would say this experience made my time in the UK pretty blah. I came home, moved to Whistler, and started helping run a youth ministry through the Whistler Community Church. Life in Whistler was so fun; I met so many amazing people who loved the Lord and developed friendships that eventually led me to do an internship in Colorado with Snowboarders and Skiers for Christ, which then led me to India to teach kids how to ski, and then brought me back to Whistler/Pemberton where I met my husband, Josh, and started volunteering with Young Life. My 20s were filled with a solid Christian community and women who spoke into my life and encouraged me in my faith. 

Then I had kids. I don’t mean to say, "Then I had kids, dun dun dun…" But my walk with God seemed to come to a halt pretty suddenly. We had our first son, and I met all these amazing first-time moms, and we walked the trenches together. We all had our second kids around the same time as well. I shared my most vulnerable moments with these moms, but the kicker was, none of them were Christians, so the advice and comfort I got back wasn’t Christ-centred. I became a Sunday morning Christian, but I didn’t realize it. I also felt like I was failing my family. There were moments I felt so much anger and rage in those early years with two little ones. Everyone I talked to was also experiencing the same anger and rage, and so I just thought it was normal. With no Christian community to lean on, I just scraped by each day. When we had our third baby, I was in a better headspace. I had a year before she was born where I started reading my Bible again (when I could), but I wouldn’t say my faith was thriving. I found it very hard to carve out time to read anything.

“Wake up" before the kids do was a mean joke to me. We were finding it financially draining living in Pemberton, and so two years after our third was born, we moved here to the Comox Valley, leaving behind 17 years of community and friendships, leaving behind all we knew, and trusting that God had plans for us. I was really struggling with this thought.

When we moved here, my faith was dry. My faith wasn’t a babbling brook; it was a dried-up, scaly riverbed. I was desperate for community and friends, which is why I forced myself into really uncomfortable social situations in those first months. I showed up at the women’s Bible study two or three weeks after our move, and it was the first time I was in a room surrounded by women who love Jesus. Then I started going to the moms' group and making friends who love Jesus. Suddenly I understood what I had been missing in those early years of having kids, and it was Christian community. My dried-up, scaly riverbed had a trickle going through it now, and I was coming alive in my faith. I literally felt life returning to me. By January, I had become friends with my neighbour, and she expressed that she’d like to come to church, so she came one Sunday. I had spent years asking my mom friends in Pemberton to come to church and was always rejected. I just kept inviting my neighbour, and she would come periodically. I had no idea how to lead grown-ups to Jesus (I had experience leading teens through Young Life), but not a grown-up! My faith didn’t feel strong enough to aid in someone coming to Christ, so I didn’t share much but would pray for her and keep inviting her out. She surprised me big time and came to know the Lord at women’s camp and then was baptized a few days later. I was so humbled to be the one that got a front-row seat. I was so excited for her but also a bit confused. I always thought I needed more faith, a flowing river, and gushing dam. Then I heard God say to me, “I only needed a trickle; see what I can do.” I’m so humbled by what God can do through what I think isn’t enough.

Looking back on my year in the Comox Valley, I can say with 100% certainty that God’s plans are better than anything I could imagine. He asked us to trust him in this move, and as much as I didn’t want to give up the community I had in Pemberton, he has given me more than I could dream up. He knew what I needed, knew where I was lacking, and he showed up and gave me a taste of what it looks like to partner with him in life. So what can I say, but let’s Go!!!

Allie Dooley